“Right/AMOUNT”

How do we ever know if what we feel, think, and do is the right amount? In rationing ourselves into life, what measurements do we rely on for what portion goes where?

All of us us feel our lives in the back, front, and all over our conscious awareness of ourselves. It’s how we’ve evolved to today, and the anticipation/participation paradox has tagged along for the ride. Anticipating the surrounding dangers was vital to survival at one point in this journey. Social enhancements like rule of law and their enforcement have relieved much of that burden, but the drive to anticipate still remains present across our species. Studies show the anticipation of an upcoming vacation is more fulfilling than the actual vacation itself. Sadly, we totally suck at this if measured against what the future actually feels like. Often we reach back for a desired feeling from the past, not realizing the brain augments that reality for the enhanced perception effect, and we fuck that up too. All the while the present is the victim to all this jockeying around of our anxiety about this very moment called now.

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Hey, I get it. I read the words from the hearts screaming in the backs of the minds of the folks wanting the weight of future to just feel warm and soft. Personally, I don’t believe anyone actually figures that part of consciousness out. Maybe peace is simply acceptance of all this without feeling diminished personally. We do tend to seek the safety of numbers until it feels like we might be compared and ranked. I’ve grown to feel that there is no right answer to this wonderment of life itself. Devine governance is certainly within the realm of all possible explanations, but our description of this smells of human interpretation, possibly supported by human ego and agenda. Randomness across seemingly infinite possibilities of a concept called the universe feels less than enough to support everything we know as life. I just discovered today that the scientific community has yet to develop the proper mathematical connection for validation of causality. That statement probably doesn’t mean a fucking thing to most people, but is meant to support this notion that nobody has life figured out, so that soft and warm place we all want to live consciously speaking, is a dream. Although, we as a species do have a substantially better understanding of what’s best for each individual than the total population suggests. Maybe we should talk about the sharing and hoarding of sociopathy. Help me understand why we can do so much, but so many have so little compared to the capacity for more.

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I’m captivated by watching everyone around me live out their lives. Translating expressions to what I imagine they feel. Wondering what they’re not saying, but thinking just the same. How do they relate to themselves. This human existence is a fascinating tale of possibility sewn together with thoughts and emotions twisted around the passing of time. Something from within moves each of us to want something else. This burgeoning of what often becomes desire permeates every aspect of our journey in time. Even delayed, we thirst for that moment of satisfaction. In between, we numb ourselves with distractions that still trace back to the familiar fire within. Every second carefully layered as to not lose that precious connection with desire.

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We all vibrate with consciousness…buzzing along a presence we feel with every cell of our being. Turmoil and peace alternate from our encounters with all the other forces of consciousness. Constant resonance of connection between the vibrations of life in the stillness of a seemingly endless universe. The excuse we throw upon ourselves we call love, like a specific frequency of this vibration of us. Channels are caved out to offer us a connection for that unrelenting echo of desire, clawing to find the surface of our existence. The attention we pay this cycle we then call passion. Believing that same presence resides in others is compassion. The absence can only be realized as death, the day the desire burns no more.

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#love #life #peace