Living in a self directed perspective tends to lead us into taking situations and compressing the complexity of their circumstances into easy to digest stories. It comes to us very naturally as we cruise around on autopilot letting the automatic systems of our brain lead the way for much of our daily lives. Where this becomes an issue is whenever we assume things when relating to others, and then complicate matters more by having them do the same. You see, that perspective is unique to a single reality, and can’t really be transposed onto someone else’s. It’s just so fucking convenient for us to slap our sense of how something is or feels across another persons life, because that’s how we see it. It take painstaking focus and personal discipline to overcome this human trait.
“So, how do we move beyond our overly assumptive nature...?”
This is where I’m at in this process, so take it for what it’s worth. Listen! We can’t gain another perspective without shutting down the one we have long enough to allow for different variations of something to be considered. This far more difficult than it sounds! Think of all the mediums for communication in today’s ever complex world. Each one must be adapted to in order to extract a reasonable viewpoint of another persons reality. Face to face gives one the best opportunity to really focus on what someone is trying to express, but not always available. Hearing their voice would be next in line, given the way our auditory system lends toward inflection during speech. Written correspondence becomes a bigger challenge, as it requires expressive capacity by the other person in order to instill enough details for detection of their perspective.
“Here’s the tricky part...the place we often highjack the story”
Finding the patience to allow ourselves to consider what’s in front of us. Taking the time to digest and examine the content of another persons words as it relates to their feelings without making assumptions. Rapport is a delicate meshing of two or more perspectives, and must be nurtured and fostered with great care and attention to others emotional realms. The benefits are far more beneficial than any sense of being right can provide. This level of tolerance and acceptance of others perspectives is what the world needs more of. Defense and protection only breeds contempt, where love has no room to flourish. A life without all the love available isn’t the safe haven it’s portrayed to be. There is no limit to our capacity to love one another or care about one another in a deep and meaningful way. It simply takes practice and discipline to overcome our natural tendency to displace it with our over simplified assumptions...