We wonder through this life hoping there’s enchanted immortality in an idealistic afterlife, constantly tucking away the things we don’t want to bring to bare as we push into the uncertainty of our conscious reality. Ultimately, we face the unpacking of life’s baggage to reveal with the clarity of hindsight, we fucked a lot of opportunities up along the way. All of man’s problems are a result of our collective consciousness, and the resulting behavior. The earth and universe have their moments of transformation and resulting tribulations, but our species is to blame for every single issue surrounding our modernity. Social, cultural, political, ideological conflict only exists within our perception of reality. For 300,000 years, our story has been evolving to what is now the present day. This portrayal of the accumulation of our understanding for how and why we exist remains anchored to the unproven mythical speculations of ancestors we deemed as prophetic, even though there’s not a shred of physical evidence to confirm this as reality. Nevertheless, I’m not here to write about the way ideological misgivings balloon into mythical misconceptions. I want to further my observations about the emotional entrapment gripping our species and more importantly, how do we break that grip. I only have to look at my personal perspective to get started. I was a very emotional child, full of love and elation over the things that made me feel good. Disappointments were a part of that, but they never felt like they were overwhelming. No one ever explained to me that this thing we call heartache was a normal part of the human experience. It was something much different than disappointment, and felt like it would never go away. I realized it’s stranglehold after my father came home drunk one night, and woke me up when I was fourteen. Him coming home drunk after spending his time drinking away from my mother and his children wasn’t something new. It was a generational type behavior for men of his era. They were children of a very authoritarian generation of fathers themselves. This lack of engagement for the emotional complexity of adolescence has helped to cast the die for all generations. Dad felt trapped by the expectations of a wife, who he felt detached from within his own complexity. He had met someone that listened to his plight, and come to the conclusion it was time to leave his family because of his detachment from mom. At fourteen and being his eldest child, he decided I was to be the new man of the house in his absence. My dad was leaving, and what little responsibility he supported around the family from a functional perspective was now on my shoulders. Oh, there’s a catch to this dysfunctional strategy of his. He hasn’t informed mom of his plans, so I couldn’t tell anyone of my situation. I was supposed to suppress any emotional entanglement with my reaction to cover his cowardice for unveiling his relief to his emotional turmoil. Selfish, absolutely, but this was how he was conditioned to cope with his own emotional entanglement from his life. What’s lost in this generational extrapolation of emotional suppression is the way we at crucial junctures of human development ignore the understanding of the adolescent individuals of how their own emotional entanglement works. Not a single concern for how I would deal with the abandonment from my father at a time my hormonal transition from childhood to early adulthood was overwhelming to say the least. My story is unique in its presence to me, but not isolated in the context for how we as a species fail at this critical development in the lives of our children. That failure to untangle our emotional complexity at the individual level until we are dysfunctional adults is the real problem. Adolescents don’t possess the capacity to effectively do it alone, and peer involvement mostly dilutes the situation. The dysfunctional parent only replicates the slightly enhanced experience of their own adolescence, and focused improvements are mostly a product of luck. People are groomed to figure out their own emotional entanglement and live within whatever results that process renders. This hasn’t changed much for most of modern times since our development of language and art. Remember, the period I’m referencing is the last 10,000 years, where written language can be used to gauge emotional expression. The process is evolving, but at Darwinian speed and is only recently within the last couple of centuries been adequately studied. Human beings possess so much more capacity than we currently exhibit, it’s going to take some time to learn how the best way to unlock it will be.



The news out of New Zealand is tragic in obvious ways, but at a deeper level far beyond the loss of lives as well. The manifesto from this perpetrator identifies a disturbing message of psychotic nationalism supported by racism. This diverts this writing in a bit of an unexpected direction, but also ties in the overall message of my initial thoughts. Race, culture, nationalism, and religious ideology are all bound by a common thread. Their identification and support is a human concept. Varying degrees of melatonin in the skin of humans does not distinguish special differentiation, but is leveraged through cultural dynamics as fuel for ignorance to the biology supporting one’s understanding. Homo Sapiens vary along a wide range of physical variations, such as height, weight, hair, eyes, and the likes. Skin color has been extracted from this list for a social agenda. Getting individuals to support this preposterous notion by incentivizing their following is the Darwinian dilemma in all of this. Our social propensity has served our species well over time. Teaching and division of labor and tasks across a smaller group allowed for us to proliferate this planet. Language allowed for those groups to expand greatly in size. Technology amplified that capacity to unheard of boundaries, and social media allowed any fool to become believable. At the individual level, the true variation lies within the capacity to process our understanding from all this communication capacity. The agenda once again becomes the focal point, and the unaware followers not properly scrutinizing their sensory input behave in detrimental ways. Donald Trump’s name was cited in this manifesto for his support of nationalism and agenda to stop immigration. Only in the human consciousness does migration of species cause social conflict. The only reason it’s seen the way it’s portrayed is because it’s supported by an agenda. Not biology, chemistry, or physics, just ignorance to understanding.  



Most of what the human race has contrived as acceptable norms around this planet were originally put into place as a symbol to something greater than a single life. No one person or even group of people have a comprehensive handle on this complexity of our species. We have yet to achieve in the hundreds of thousands of years of being aware and connected a tranquil harmony of everyone. As advanced as we’ve become in some aspects, we struggle to rise above the challenges in beliefs and behaviors. Hope can only be identified as not becoming extinct in one’s own lifetime, and trying to stave off self inflicted extinction in the upcoming lifetimes of our offspring and of theirs as well. The story of precisely how we arrived here is still widely debated in spite of the strong evidence to support the scientific version. That gap in acceptance transcends into social ideology as well as the individual interpretation for one’s existence. We more often than not attempt to trade personal tranquility for being right, and the argument carries the burden of confusion of purpose. We seek individual validation for our consciousness, while ignoring what’s in the best interest of all. Our children become reflections of that same dynamic, and thus they too repeat the cycle only to find themselves at the same crossroads as ourselves. Consciousness can only be gratifying by being present within one’s reality. There’s no credibility necessary, just acceptance and awareness of how complicated life is outside of that paradigm. Your emotional state will run your life if you give it the keys, or it can gratify every moment when you realize their functional dynamic. 



The world is filled with beauty and wonder...don’t let fear or ignorance stop you from realizing it! 







Generalizations and oversimplification are the tools we often use to paint the picture of our reality. Because it’s so common across the cultural variations of humanity, we’ve grown to not only accept this form of delusion, but we most often expect it from those around us. Being the person crying bullshit leaves you to the scrutiny of everyone else’s unified emotional distortion. That feeling of being in the majority of a consensus far outweighs the isolation of knowing better. Understanding too much is a lonely fucking existence. Falling prey to the manipulation of an ideological agenda is perfectly fine as long as you are not all by yourself. This form of social policing is how we learn to fit in with the herd so to speak. How information strikes us is every bit as important as it’s validity. Emotional temperament provides the valence for dictating the path we guide our understanding along. This is why the discovery of that consensus as being misguided leads to some form of emotional panic. You see, prevailing through everything we know is how we feel. Feeling accepted for following this herd is much more comforting than being right for thinking independently. Suggesting that more understanding is necessary to properly evaluate a situation puts one at risk of being identified as nonconformist. Too many of these, and you’re soon ignored for your participation. Goddamnit, no one wants to be in this situation. The purpose of the group is often overshadowed by belonging to something bigger than a single solitary life. There’s never been a single tyrant, who single handedly managed to overwhelm an entire society alone. Hell, Napoleon Bonaparte wasn’t big enough to fight a small band of children, let alone a group of grown men. Yet, his social influence created the empire we know from history. Not all circumstances have the capacity to achieve this type of social evolution, but far too many of the modern issues of today are deeply rooted in the perpetuation of special interests of the few, because the many are too afraid to question the supporting supposition. 


Social capacity has given our species the throne to all other known forms of life. The words derived from the symbols developed to share ourselves with each other is unique in its complexity. The availability to deliver intentions to others, even when we don’t maintain an intimate relationship with them is unique to being human. This expression of what lives within our conscious being fills our life with purpose and gratification. The diversity of what that means to each of us is as diverse as we all are as individuals. With all of this power, and knowing full well the capacity contained within it, why do we still struggle to make better use of it? When it comes to building out a life that lifts those around us, and empathizes their suffering, and casts a shadow of hope, we constantly circle back to our own inability to cope with the conversation within ourselves. All that evolutionary drive to connect and communicate with those around us presently, as well as those we encounter outside of today, yet captured in the context of the isolation as an individual, with the realization of mortality. This very human condition is also the human dilemma. It would appear that very few of us fully come to terms with this dilemma, and the vast majority of us ponder it to our final days. Obviously this is the core of why we bend everything we encounter to something applicable to our version of what we can emotionally digest. Rationalization takes precedence over understanding when it comes to broadening our capacity to be a better version of ourselves. Often times accepting what we know takes a backseat to managing the more powerful emotional response life elicits. This internal quest to calm the noise within our consciousness has been present as far back as 70,000 years as best we can tell. Much earlier than this, homo erectus ornated shells and similar objects with designs, obviously attempting some form of expression. The desire to express ourselves has been present for most of our evolution away from the other primates. Could this be the mutation giving our species the preference over all other forms of life on earth, or is this the spirit we identify as God within the notion of immortality. Regardless of what degree you can identify and transform this expression into creativity, there lies the hunger to define a purpose and a reason for why each of us were born. Maybe the fear of being left out is built into our DNA, and our innate tendency to attach our interpretation or version is a safety mechanism exposed by shame for not understanding something. Recognizing we’re alone and not knowing any peace with that could be the driver for this entire circumstance. We are born to struggle like all other life, only we are the ones able to enhance that existence by molding the moments of our reality. Shaping the circumstances, and influencing the outcome. We all have the potential, only few realize that...










offset or compare the value of (one thing) with another.


The only reason it’s possible for life to exist on earth or anywhere else is the delicate balance of the essential elements for sustaining life. All life forms we’re aware of live within the confines of some type of balanced lifestyle between their individual existence and the propagation of their species. Homo Sapiens struggle mightily with this essential dynamic. We tend to confuse our will to survive with this notion of free will. Possessing the capacity to choose doesn’t relieve us from maintaining this balance. The human balancing act falls along the line between capturing as many moments as possible, and putting them off because time feels so damned abundant to us. Tomorrow only exists to measure the value of today. Filling ones life with stories of true meaning far outweighs the accumulation of stuff to numb the regret that comes with watching life tick away. 


This paradigm of balance delivers humanity a grand dilemma though. If we don’t prove we’re intelligent enough to stop our own extinction, none of this will matter. The social issues befalling the species atop all others on this planet, will ultimately spell the collapse of the essential elements necessary for our existence. How you feel about your life won’t replace the devastating effects brought about by our ill fated ignorance to the larger problems. “Hot, Flat, and Crowded” is the title to Thomas Friedman’s 2008 cry to anyone who cared to read it for recognizing the forces at work, and the stakes of ignoring them. Now, a decade later we face an even more expanded set of circumstances with little to no improvement. Some 68 million humans migrated last year away from the political strife besieging their homelands. Scientists continue to fumble around without much success at creating functional nuclear fusion to relieve the climate deterioration, yet nothing is being derived to tackle the social struggles facing humanity. A standard of care for children beyond infancy, to allow the development of more adults with the full range of cognitive capacity necessary to embrace a truly connected species. The expansion of the inequalities that have plagued humanity from the dawn of civilization are destined to doom our existence, if we don’t adjust the perspectives of more individuals. All the while, technological advancements are continually delivering increasingly more access to consumption of emotionally charged and intellectually numbing cognitive rubbage. No wonder given the emotional conductivity the average person represents. 


The problems are complex, and the solution isn’t an instant fix. We need a better generation established and cultivated to provide subsequent replication for all the future generations. Humans not so distorted by the affects of culture and ideology, that the species is the focus. Gender, race, and discrimination fall to the wayside in lieu of greater good for everyone. Not just the lucky ones born into beneficial circumstantial advantages. Giving everyone a chance to flourish, and accepting the limits on our species and our impact on that delicate balance that allows us to exist in the first place. Free from anxiety about our differences, and centered around the commonality of what we all share. The distortion from our past won’t light the way. This vision requires a totally uniquely different set of lenses. Prying people away from their comfort provided by centuries of ill informed complacency is the challenge we all must face.  Subduing the natural tendencies of procreation absent of how to provide for the unregulated selection of who has children.  (imagine the political shit show associated with that)  



Any attempt at leveling outcomes is and always will be an exercise in futility. There are too many complex components involved in the sequence of events contributing to any outcome. Individual effort can only be measured by capacity to perform. Trying hard with little to no success falls on the participants. The only person that can verify or dispute your best effort is yourself. Physical and cognitive constraints between individuals differentiates outcomes greatly. Equality doesn’t truly exist in this realm. Flourishing as an individual though, can be levelized in the sense that, everyone can do their best to live their best without fear or anxiety of being judged for any shortcomings. We also should express more restraint in glorifying the perception of success. Athletes achieve great accomplishment from a very narrow perspective, yet nearly all fail to contribute to meaningful social or cultural enriching. 


It it would appear as though I’ve stumbled upon a subject worthy of much more deliberation and scrutiny. I’ve grown weary of publishing content simply to amuse the fancy of people I’m not acutely connected with. Let’s just see where this vein runs to😎