“Owning/It”

Critical Thinking

Communication

Collaboration

Creativity

What does it actually mean to “Own It”? “Own What” exactly?

There’s reality, there’s your perspective of it, and there’s how you feel about all of that. Accepting and managing the interpretation and emotional fallout from our perspective is the ownership. You are saddled with how reality resonates within your consciousness. It’s on you to control and contain the rampant chain reaction each and every occurrence reveals. Sitting around falsely anticipating what may or may not happen in lieu of understanding yourself to the extent you’re nimble enough to navigate the myriad of possibilities outside of your influence. Establishing defined boundaries to your actual influence and not freaking the fuck out over the weight of the burden.

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My mistakes thus far in my life all involved the confusion surrounding my feelings about various stations of my life’s path. Not realizing those feelings were only there because I allowed them to be emboldened over the best possible options associated with my circumstances. What felt right or wrong drove all the analysis of my consciousness. Dismissal of these emotional components in lieu of what made sense or was rationally supported never stood a chance against how I felt. We all wallow in our feelings until we discover the capacity to weigh them and categorize their purpose. My parents got a divorce when I was 15, and the devastating effects lingered until my early twenties. All the personal relationships during that period were shadowed by the emotional cloud of my despair. Reflecting back on this period of my life, I now see how I could have done a better job of finding my way through this situation. Every possibility of hope through opening up my heart to others was smashed by the emotional turmoil entangled around the weight of my Dads abandonment of his family, and more importantly me.

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Every new version of me that evolves from the trials and tribulations of what life throws at me is an improvement over what existed prior too. Those present in my life today would cringe at many of the previous iterations of my journey. Lives have been adversely effected and feelings have been stepped on throughout the trajectory of all this. Yes, I have regrets, but knowing how they only restrict moving past emotional stagnation, I’ve learned to know better looking forward. I now take ownership of that how I feel part of my reality, and avoid the pitfalls of overemphasizing just the emotional aspects. Taking that ownership requires seizing the reigns of ones emotional entanglement. No one can make that choice for you. It’s all on you!

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Love is some complicated shit! It feels so amazing, yet tears lives apart when improperly applied or misrepresented. Boiling it down to desire and pleasure only masks the true reality of its complexity. Responsible engagement is a much more accurate depiction of the situations it involves. Yet, love and it’s antithesis hate drive so much human behavior with their tug of war diametrically opposing forces. The very best and worst of our species rests at these polar opposites. The middle can only be achieved by wrangling the ownership of their creation away from its mystical evolution. Rationale contemplation where the decisions are rooted in the full spectrum of possibilities, not simply emotional motives. There’s simply no good place for hate to exist, and love needs conditioning to flourish. Once the coast is clear, love can be very rewarding for all.

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#love #understanding #compassion

“You/Think”

The loneliness of only being yourself…

…terrifies the fuck out of us

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Nobody has this figured out, it’s anyone’s guess as to the why we’re here. Every generation churns out yet another layer of anxiety over the reason behind our why. The feeling of being alive is intoxicating, yet subversively paranoid simultaneously. Who else hears our thoughts, surely they echo across time.

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Desire poised just beneath the surface of fear. Luring our spirit into its web of ecstasy and exotic fulfillment. Never relenting it’s constant reminder of the darkness within all of us. Only the strands of guilt hold us back from over indulgence. We can’t help ourselves for wanting, we can’t forgive ourselves for accepting.

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As long as we don’t feel threatened, we feel we must know something special. Our vision of our existence is how everything fits together for us. Surely everyone else feels the same way about themselves. Suffering is a poor choice, cheer yourself up so no one feels badly about themselves. Anger will get you through the night.

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Peace is the constant dream, if only we could locate its calm. Surely there are moments of this mythical clarity, but suffering to find them seems to be the barrier of resistance. Tolerance for the suffering is the weight of that feeling for existence. Life’s tide rolls across our memories, washing clean the residual effects. Leaving behind nothing but guilt for not trying harder.

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Wasting away all those moments of being present in the suffering and not breathing in the essence of the space between the passing seconds. For its not fear of dying, it’s forgetting that our time falls within those gaps of anguish over the why. It’s love we seek, and how that feels. Reassuring our entanglement over how we arrived at another moment, and the weight lingers still.

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You think because that’s all the mind knows to do. You feel because that’s how we deal with our thoughts. You live when you train the will to accept. Love is the harmony of realization of this transformation. Once you figure that part out, there’s no space for anything else. The fear, anxiety, and suffering subside for the tranquility of compassion. The weight of living has been lifted…

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#love #life #peace #acceptance #compassioN

“Just/Fucking”

I’ve recently become enthralled with the HBO series The Deuce. They do such a good job with their productions, Saprano’s, Sex in the City, Game of Thrones are all marquee award winning series from their creative genius. A line in the aforementioned series somehow caught my attention, and so I used it for my title. The main character played by Maggie Gyllenhaal uses this phrase as she attempts to ease the anxiety of one of the new girls making her debut into the burgeoning adult film business. For me, it personifies the way we humans diminish the negative connotation of any marginalized social dilemma. “It’s just...” anything allows us to offer our subverted acceptance of something that may not be widely as acceptable as we want to believe. As individuals we walk the tightrope of our impulses and whether or not they align with the world around us. We don’t want to disrupt the perceived affect of the ones we hold close to us, but underneath our drive to be socially accepted, we have these impulses that well up from somewhere inside us. It’s these details that are held close to the vest whenever we share ourselves with anyone. Typically it’s a life partner that we more fully open up to, once we establish that sense of safety for revealing our inner self. Generational variations frame this dynamic of human behavior as well, as older generations have a much different perspective than younger ones, and far more experiential content to consider. Making comparisons for individuals across the spectrum of a group that includes multiple dynamics is just an exercise in futility. Standing atop of your viewpoint as if it’s some sort of standard to measure everyone else by is ridiculous, yet that’s the mechanics for which most individuals assess their reality. We want to imagine our view of reality is shared by many, at the same time questioning that streak of darkness within us we can’t explain.

 

 

 

There is a biological premise for all of this, yet the vast majority lack the capacity to identify and understand its existence. Using pop culture as a metaphorical launching pad to initiate change is my latest attempt at finding what will gain traction in my quest to lift the awareness of everyone. Just about all of my diatribe expressed here goes completely unnoticed, and only serves as a sounding board to what is conjured up within me as I contemplate the world around me, outside the boundaries of my reality. It doesn’t require enlightenment to access the internet, and the statistical analysis of human capacity to understand reveals the majority of humans lack the capacity, interest, or motivation to buy into my thoughts. I’m not too a place in my life where this becomes my life’s work, so allocating sufficient time to broadcast my thoughts isn’t quite practical at this time. For now, I’m sort of collecting notes for future reference as I construct my understanding of what’s at play within our species from the great men and women doing the research and formulating the foundations for future generations to expand upon. It’s this basic acceptance of how life is an accumulative progression for all forms of life, that’s tied to its past by experiences that anchor our assessment of the present, while we formulate a prediction of the future that continually transforms the past we leave behind us. All that’s left to improve that future for more individuals is to increase the capacity for more of us to understand this reality within themselves. Efforts to accomplish this are exponentially more effective and efficient the younger the individual being influenced is. 

 

 

 

All that that being said, yesterday was a Seminole moment for me. I attended my very first TEDx conference. For those of you not aware of this organization, take a look at https://www.ted.com/ to familiarize yourself with the organization and it’s story, mission, and purpose. I was privileged enough to see many local people sharing their ideas through their passionate examples of caring for everyone in a way that mimics the way they care about the ones close to them. The initiative is all about cultivating grand ideas from everyone, instead of some pre-existing segment of society that hold to some type of high esteem.  “Ideas worth spreading” is the mission statement of sorts. https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization

Having an idea crafted into a vision supported by a driving passion needs support to gain effective traction to become anything other than a novelty. TED is just than mechanism for lifting ideas to their starting point. My unrelenting passion for lifting the lives of more humans than currently receive a legitimate opportunity needs this type of magnification to ever see any hope for implementation. The die is cast, I just need to construct the functional foundation for building the structure for my vision to reside.

 

 

 

  #change