“After/Midnight”

 “...we gonna let it all hangout”

 

there’s so much about me, that’s yet to be discovered. we race against the years to uncover what lies within our innermost self. my best version of myself remains in constant construction. 

 

 

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 “...Ole Bull”

 

 

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/08/28/trump-accuses-google-of-rigging-search-results-in-favor-of-bad-coverage.html

“...Raging Bull” 

 

If we measure the depth of our relationships by the breadth of our conversations, just imagine a casual visit with Donald Trump😳 Having to actually provide supporting details to the bullshit he spews at the ignorance of the infuriated. It’s a sad state of affairs whenever the truth about anything becomes optional to the audience being addressed. We hold no truths to be self evident as we continually allow integrity and honor to slide from the face of morality and prop up ideological agendas verses the actual best interests of society. Everything associated with freedom is washed aside by the battle for tribal supremacy. God and human rights are thrown around as though they were something objectively tangible. 

 

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  “...Hatch Chilies” 

 

I watch for signs at the margins of where cultures fail to convey. Cross that against the ranges of tendencies, and you come to realize where we stand. Consciousness is a tangled mutha fucker of a burden on our energy budget. Life is about smoothing out the hard shit in favor of leisure. Constantly comparing ourselves to anything other than a better version of our current self is extremely debilitating to the joy of a moment. 

 

 

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   “...Albert Cuyp Market”

 

im not quite sure what’s supporting this piece of nonsense going on up in here. I keep getting drug aside without much resistance. maybe I’m soaking in enough from the streams of cognitive consumption I feed from, that expelling my perspective just isn’t happening. the world struggles to find this notion of equality, yet biologically it’s not available in the fundamental form necessary to sooth the social divide culture has implanted in our behavior. what we’re really searching for is equality in consciousness, where all thoughts are measured by the same standards. there again, emotionally all impulses matter to the individual as though they carried the same weight upon everyone. unfortunately, that weight is measured by the specificity of the individuals unique circumstances. the dialogue for equality comes from the dispossessed or misunderstood, not from the willingness of the lucky to concede their power. too often we assess ourselves by comparing what we accept about ourselves with the perspective of what we assume about those we long to assimilate with. there’s something far more profound bubbling up behind all of this notion I have. I’ll give it a few more days to clarify it’s purpose, so the message is cleaner and precise...

 

 

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   #randomness

“Important/People”

No one ever explained to me as a child about how love works. It was trial by fire as my emotions lead me through my childhood and headlong into adolescence. That lead me down a path as an adult, that created many teaching moments for later in life. Even, if it lead to some heartache and tribulations along the way. I write this now, because I do have a genuine appreciation for the people in my life, not only in the present, but the one's scattered across the landscape of the journey as well. I'm not sure one can be told about something as unique as love, and have any meaningful understanding We pick up on the examples set forth before us as we identify with how it appears in those around us, and how that makes us feel. We fantasize about the romantic versions we see on the television (...or via our streaming service today) or read about in the novels. This gives us clues, but not experiential insight. Trial and error is the only game in town for becoming comfortably familiar with the most overwhelming emotional experience of human existence. Attempting to second guess the decisions we put into constructing the opportunity to draw from this participation is fruitless. Anticipating an outcome just because it suits our vision is equally as delusional. What we’re left with is the reality that love takes practice and a shit ton of diligent work, with zero promises for success. It truly is a leap of faith by anyone attempting the dive. 

 

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  “Mini Pearl...” 

I say all of this to get to a deeper more profound introspection of my path to this moment. At some epic moment, I began to view my life for what it is, and not for what it isn’t or could have been. This changes the lens for how you view everything. The relevance of people in my life is correlated to the depth of how we are connected. True meaningful relationships require the aforementioned work, thus identifying all connections with the same magnitude becomes overwhelming. Circumstances come into play, and dedication of time to any relationship sets the magnitude of that particular connection. The neglected connections fade to their places beneath the others. The fresh exciting ones belay our focus. The richest most fulfilling ones lean upon our every free thought. Budgeting of the proper amount of attention for each is the lifelong challenge we face. I suppose we should hope to allow enough of ourselves to reach everyone in our lives, but being fully present whenever we’re around anyone who matters, and not neglecting those, who don’t stand before us each and every day is the ultimate success. Realizing we spen an hour of every day eating, and several additional hours thinking about eating each day. To go with thoughts about our work, household responsibility, and don’t forget vacation. Our recognition of others is squeezed into small compartments of functional excess. Almost collateral baggage to life’s rat race. 

 

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   “...the cajun”

Savor each and every encounter you have with all the gusto you can muster. They all affect us somehow, and managing the benefits while minimizing the detriment is all there is for housekeeping of our experience. We are all born emotional messes, and without refining our ability to shape ourselves, we languish in the minutia such existence entails.

 

 

  #connection 

“Shaken/Out”

everyday is precious...don’t procrastinate their consumption

 

rejoice in your accomplishments...not languish in your failures  

 

everyone has to figure out their situation...on their own

 

beauty is like magic...explaining it ruins the thrill

 

 

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live life with passion about something that adds to the lives of others...find compassion within yourself for everyone else. 

 

I’m acutely aware now of this human condition, and how it’s been stretched across the landscape of our species existence. What we read comes from cultural substance driven to exasperate the noise consciousness makes within us. Ever wonder why human languages vary so diversely from one another. Wouldn’t that come from varying degrees of consciousness and the subsequent desire to express how that feels? Our diversity within the species grew over hundreds of thousands of years, and only in the past few hundred have we begun to reconcile that back to the common aspects of being Homo Sapiens. We migrated out of the African continent to propagate on nearly every land mass on earth. Never before has a species been able to proliferate the entire planet, changing the course of evolution. Our individual time spent during our lives represents such a tiny fraction of this story, yet to us it’s the most important aspect we can imagine. Reconciliation of how that feels, and hoping beyond hope to identify some form of extension for this thing we know as consciousness is the story behind that aforementioned condition. Realizing how I fit into the story is not nearly as unsettling as seeing so many, who don’t even realize they’re a part of that story. Peace...is reducing that gap.

 

 

  #awareness