No one ever explained to me as a child about how love works. It was trial by fire as my emotions lead me through my childhood and headlong into adolescence. That lead me down a path as an adult, that created many teaching moments for later in life. Even, if it lead to some heartache and tribulations along the way. I write this now, because I do have a genuine appreciation for the people in my life, not only in the present, but the one's scattered across the landscape of the journey as well. I'm not sure one can be told about something as unique as love, and have any meaningful understanding We pick up on the examples set forth before us as we identify with how it appears in those around us, and how that makes us feel. We fantasize about the romantic versions we see on the television (...or via our streaming service today) or read about in the novels. This gives us clues, but not experiential insight. Trial and error is the only game in town for becoming comfortably familiar with the most overwhelming emotional experience of human existence. Attempting to second guess the decisions we put into constructing the opportunity to draw from this participation is fruitless. Anticipating an outcome just because it suits our vision is equally as delusional. What we’re left with is the reality that love takes practice and a shit ton of diligent work, with zero promises for success. It truly is a leap of faith by anyone attempting the dive.
I say all of this to get to a deeper more profound introspection of my path to this moment. At some epic moment, I began to view my life for what it is, and not for what it isn’t or could have been. This changes the lens for how you view everything. The relevance of people in my life is correlated to the depth of how we are connected. True meaningful relationships require the aforementioned work, thus identifying all connections with the same magnitude becomes overwhelming. Circumstances come into play, and dedication of time to any relationship sets the magnitude of that particular connection. The neglected connections fade to their places beneath the others. The fresh exciting ones belay our focus. The richest most fulfilling ones lean upon our every free thought. Budgeting of the proper amount of attention for each is the lifelong challenge we face. I suppose we should hope to allow enough of ourselves to reach everyone in our lives, but being fully present whenever we’re around anyone who matters, and not neglecting those, who don’t stand before us each and every day is the ultimate success. Realizing we spen an hour of every day eating, and several additional hours thinking about eating each day. To go with thoughts about our work, household responsibility, and don’t forget vacation. Our recognition of others is squeezed into small compartments of functional excess. Almost collateral baggage to life’s rat race.
Savor each and every encounter you have with all the gusto you can muster. They all affect us somehow, and managing the benefits while minimizing the detriment is all there is for housekeeping of our experience. We are all born emotional messes, and without refining our ability to shape ourselves, we languish in the minutia such existence entails.