“Your/Focus”

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Your life is what you make of it…provided there’s opportunity. Freedom is the ability to choose freely from the possibilities, not necessarily do anything, but responsibly taking what’s available as long as it doesn’t diminish the lives of others. Fairly simple and straightforward? Why does humanity continue to struggle with this formula?

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My current visit to Romania has brought all of these questions to light for me. The shadow of the half century of communism lingers across the generations captured by its effects. It’s not as easy as lifting the curtain to expose the opportunity. It takes many generations to accumulate the context of liberal democracy with the transformative benefits of capitalism to raise the possibilities for everyone. More than anything it’s re-enforced the social issues of the United States and our struggle to overcome the pitfalls of generations struggling with each other to improve the system.

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Deep at the core of this human condition lies it’s roots of potential equality distorted by the divergence of unequal opportunity. Every single generation widens the lens for their space in our evolution, but narrows its focus down to its lack of true relevance as that generation expires. Somehow we continually fail to effectively accelerate the adaptation to the rate of change for every generation alive at a given moment in time.

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Rather than lift people upward, we destroy their imagination of hope suggesting they try harder. Social complexity grows much faster than our understanding of how we all fit together. It feels like we all focus so much on how we arrived losing sight of what’s ahead. The next three decades will determine the fate of our entire species. I’ve decided to be engaged in that process, ignoring the inability of those around me to participate. This will be my final commentary about the generalities of our social failures. The remainder of my documentation will surround my engagement of saving our existence.

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#engaged #transformation

“You/Think”

The loneliness of only being yourself…

…terrifies the fuck out of us

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Nobody has this figured out, it’s anyone’s guess as to the why we’re here. Every generation churns out yet another layer of anxiety over the reason behind our why. The feeling of being alive is intoxicating, yet subversively paranoid simultaneously. Who else hears our thoughts, surely they echo across time.

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Desire poised just beneath the surface of fear. Luring our spirit into its web of ecstasy and exotic fulfillment. Never relenting it’s constant reminder of the darkness within all of us. Only the strands of guilt hold us back from over indulgence. We can’t help ourselves for wanting, we can’t forgive ourselves for accepting.

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As long as we don’t feel threatened, we feel we must know something special. Our vision of our existence is how everything fits together for us. Surely everyone else feels the same way about themselves. Suffering is a poor choice, cheer yourself up so no one feels badly about themselves. Anger will get you through the night.

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Peace is the constant dream, if only we could locate its calm. Surely there are moments of this mythical clarity, but suffering to find them seems to be the barrier of resistance. Tolerance for the suffering is the weight of that feeling for existence. Life’s tide rolls across our memories, washing clean the residual effects. Leaving behind nothing but guilt for not trying harder.

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Wasting away all those moments of being present in the suffering and not breathing in the essence of the space between the passing seconds. For its not fear of dying, it’s forgetting that our time falls within those gaps of anguish over the why. It’s love we seek, and how that feels. Reassuring our entanglement over how we arrived at another moment, and the weight lingers still.

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You think because that’s all the mind knows to do. You feel because that’s how we deal with our thoughts. You live when you train the will to accept. Love is the harmony of realization of this transformation. Once you figure that part out, there’s no space for anything else. The fear, anxiety, and suffering subside for the tranquility of compassion. The weight of living has been lifted…

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#love #life #peace #acceptance #compassioN

“Right/AMOUNT”

How do we ever know if what we feel, think, and do is the right amount? In rationing ourselves into life, what measurements do we rely on for what portion goes where?

All of us us feel our lives in the back, front, and all over our conscious awareness of ourselves. It’s how we’ve evolved to today, and the anticipation/participation paradox has tagged along for the ride. Anticipating the surrounding dangers was vital to survival at one point in this journey. Social enhancements like rule of law and their enforcement have relieved much of that burden, but the drive to anticipate still remains present across our species. Studies show the anticipation of an upcoming vacation is more fulfilling than the actual vacation itself. Sadly, we totally suck at this if measured against what the future actually feels like. Often we reach back for a desired feeling from the past, not realizing the brain augments that reality for the enhanced perception effect, and we fuck that up too. All the while the present is the victim to all this jockeying around of our anxiety about this very moment called now.

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Hey, I get it. I read the words from the hearts screaming in the backs of the minds of the folks wanting the weight of future to just feel warm and soft. Personally, I don’t believe anyone actually figures that part of consciousness out. Maybe peace is simply acceptance of all this without feeling diminished personally. We do tend to seek the safety of numbers until it feels like we might be compared and ranked. I’ve grown to feel that there is no right answer to this wonderment of life itself. Devine governance is certainly within the realm of all possible explanations, but our description of this smells of human interpretation, possibly supported by human ego and agenda. Randomness across seemingly infinite possibilities of a concept called the universe feels less than enough to support everything we know as life. I just discovered today that the scientific community has yet to develop the proper mathematical connection for validation of causality. That statement probably doesn’t mean a fucking thing to most people, but is meant to support this notion that nobody has life figured out, so that soft and warm place we all want to live consciously speaking, is a dream. Although, we as a species do have a substantially better understanding of what’s best for each individual than the total population suggests. Maybe we should talk about the sharing and hoarding of sociopathy. Help me understand why we can do so much, but so many have so little compared to the capacity for more.

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I’m captivated by watching everyone around me live out their lives. Translating expressions to what I imagine they feel. Wondering what they’re not saying, but thinking just the same. How do they relate to themselves. This human existence is a fascinating tale of possibility sewn together with thoughts and emotions twisted around the passing of time. Something from within moves each of us to want something else. This burgeoning of what often becomes desire permeates every aspect of our journey in time. Even delayed, we thirst for that moment of satisfaction. In between, we numb ourselves with distractions that still trace back to the familiar fire within. Every second carefully layered as to not lose that precious connection with desire.

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We all vibrate with consciousness…buzzing along a presence we feel with every cell of our being. Turmoil and peace alternate from our encounters with all the other forces of consciousness. Constant resonance of connection between the vibrations of life in the stillness of a seemingly endless universe. The excuse we throw upon ourselves we call love, like a specific frequency of this vibration of us. Channels are caved out to offer us a connection for that unrelenting echo of desire, clawing to find the surface of our existence. The attention we pay this cycle we then call passion. Believing that same presence resides in others is compassion. The absence can only be realized as death, the day the desire burns no more.

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#love #life #peace