How often do we make compromises with ourselves? Because we represent both sides of any personal situation of the self, we view these dilemmas differently than whenever we assume only one side. Within any decision concerning more than one party, each sides perspective is skewed towards self interest. Dominant and submissive personalities come forward, and the metrics for which they meet drives the negotiation. Bossy types want their way no matter what, while submissive types yield to what others insist upon. There’s much more granularity to this, but my point here is to paint a picture of how we inner act with others in order to contrast that to how we treat those with ourselves.
“Once you compromise with yourself...what is left to give up?”
I first used this phrase in my late teens, as a buddy and I were in deep philosophical conversation, while extremely stoned. This was very common of the 70’s and 80’s! I used it again yesterday, when commenting on a post with a moral dilemma present. The terms of these “Self Negotiations” are the relevance of the conversation, for it’s the demands we make of ourselves that reflect our integrity and character. Short of expressing every single thought, no one else knows our inner dilemmas on a moment by moment basis. Research has shown the human propensity to rationalize the behaviors stemming from our responses to our own emotional thresholds. We eat the chocolate, even though we’re not in need of nutrients, because it tastes so good, then guilt rears it’s ugly head, and we smash it down with a dose of “Its only one candy bar...I’ll compensate somehow for it later”. (Sound familiar) Granted, this is a very simplistic yet cliche analogy, but we do this with so many other circumstances, it’s a major part of all of our experiences.
“How does this affect each of us as individuals...?”
As with everything Homo Sapien, what we all share lies hidden beneath the complexity of what makes us individuals. Only when we share these specific occurrences of moral dilemmas can we begin to better manage the inner negotiations we all face. Conversely, whenever we negotiate with others, we can benefit from how we deal with ourselves. Applying the view of both perspectives to any discussion builds better connections and thusly closer relationships. If I feel as though I understand you anywhere close to how I view myself, I have much more sympathy, empathy, and compassion for everyone. The biggest requirement to this paradigm involves each of us to first develop an honest understanding of ourselves. Knowing the boundaries for compromise, and not being too controlling or weak in where we make our stand on how we flush out decisions. Once we establish values, we drive our conscious choices with their support. Constant evaluation of said values promotes change leading to progress. Latching ahold without any further scrutiny...well, that’s the definition of conservatism😳