“We/Risk”

“What can we accomplish if we overcome the fear of failure...?” 

All too often our dreams collapse against our fears of falling short of reaching them. Comfortable is something we exaggerate beyond its necessity in life. Fear is such a natural response to the unknown that we don’t even bother to bargain with its limitations. Choosing between daring and stupid can be a razor thin decision, but necessary for revealing the jolt of living a life. Emotional entanglement launches us on these pleasure seeking missions devoid of actual fulfillment of purpose. The extremes of awesome and crisis rule our consciousness to the extent we no longer can identify normal. Instead of mindful correction, we justify with social acquiescence as to not be offensive about our judgement. In an emotionally supercharged society, dancing around the feelings of others is a highly praised skill. Spewing venomous attacks at strangers via social media is now the new normal. Our comparative inherent nature has dragged our species to it’s knees in regards to our social evolution. Focusing from within to produce our best selves is mitigated by the acceptance that others around us are much worse off in that respect. Human obesity is a classic example of this concept. No one just wakes up one day to discover they’re dangerously overweight. They don’t pay attention to the emotional entanglement driving their eating habits, and gradually over a period of time their bodies are overwhelmed by an extreme excess of calories compared to the level of physical activity they engage in. Eating is so much less traumatic than introspection into oneself, that the results are apparent all around us. Only when it’s too late and the doctor delivers the diagnosis of whatever complications have arisen from our inability to overcome this emotional entanglement do we pause to unwind the mess we’ve allowed to develop. I say all of this from personal experience. I’ve lived every single stage of what I’ve described, so it’s my own individual judgment of my life being reflected here. Living is intentional...existing is only tolerance of your entanglement with fear and anxiety.

 

 

  #love #happiness #life 

“Presumably/Presumptuous”

piecing together the story

delicately smoothing the seams

where hope touches fear

carefully to imagine why

mindful by knowing how

judgement like thieves watching

peering at yourself away

seeing only the shell

fitted for a better day

question what seems apparent  

doubt what hides behind

possible is the light

only when you dream

 

  #assumptions 

 

"Having/Arrived"

The site is coming together quite nicely, thanks to my trusty web developer daughter. Finally, I write in a place I can call my own. I used to imagine myself a writer as an adolescent, daydreaming about the satisfaction of moving people with my own words. It was never about fame or fortune, but more about the expression of the things I couldn't contain within me. We all wonder whether our thoughts and emotions are shared among others around us, whether our deepest hopes and dreams link to those people we admire. Never really enjoying the labor of reading, I had little reference for what or how to express all of this in the form of creative writing. As a matter of fact, I've only read a handful of books from cover to cover. The physical process of scanning the words, line after line for hundreds of pages put me to sleep. Still to this day, I can only manage to read through articles, essays, and reports. Yet, here I am attempting to create enough words strung together, in hopes of sharing what swirls within my consciousness. 

I am so blessed by the support and caring presence of so many wonderful people in my life. My grandparents were such an influence on all the time they were present in my life. All four lived well into my adult life, and into my children's late teenage years. 85, 89, 94, and 101 years of experience and subtle wisdom they brought to my world. All members of the "Greatest Generation" and as humble about their sacrifices and struggles they experienced during the Great Depression and the wartime. A stark contrast to all the following generations I've encountered. That foundation set the tone for how I see and experience the world around me. Each one bringing a distinct quality to help mold my perception and awareness of the childhood I lived. My dad's parents were educator's, so they had every summer away from work, and my mom's parents were retired Navy and homemaker, thus no jobs to tend to. Being the first grandchild to all these people, I was a "Golden Child" in their eyes. Imagine the attention that garnered the first two years of my infant life, before my sister was born. My mom had four siblings, three still living at home on the farm, and my dad had two younger sisters, with one living at home as well. That was eight additional people to mold, shape, and influence my early childhood development. 

The children of the "Greatest Generation" weren't as fortunate as myself. My parents exemplified the difference between their generation and their parents. Imagine growing up post World War II with the attitude and understanding your parents endured the calamity of the "Great Depression" and saved the world from tyranny before you were born. This not only left a chip on their shoulder, but also created an authoritarian parenting paradigm for their upbringing. Today, research tells us this parenting style leaves lasting negative effects on the children subjected to its absolutes and brutality. My parents weren't bad parents, just emotional wrecks within their individual struggles to reconcile their own childhoods. My dad didn't have what I consider a functional relationship with his dad until only a few years before my dad's death at fifty-two years old. My mom to this day still struggles reconciling the disciplinary upbringing her retired Navy Chief Warrant Officer father put her through. As unfortunate as these uncontrollable circumstances were for my parents, they compelled my grandparents to sort of redeem themselves as parents through their grandchildren. I had absolutely nothing to do with all of this coming together in such a way, or being born at a time where I would be touched by all these advantages, so for me it truly is a blessing. 

Anchored by this incredible foundation, I've developed my perspective of the world around me. That awareness is broad and far reaching to things of the present understanding of our existence, and the understanding of our species. Our behavior fascinates me to the extent of how people navigate the hypercomplex social structures we know today. The human emotional complex captures the attention of the vast majority of our species, and touching that vein to positively influence others is the mission of so much of what swirls around in my head. It appears to me, that if I can derive a beneficial approach to my life, and the lives of others, anyone can assimilate to an uplifting attitude towards our existence. I don't see myself as special to any extent, but simply able to find inspiration in others, and hopeful of sharing some bit of inspirational evidence to whoever I can encounter. Possibly, you might be struck by that as you visit my explanation for whatever strikes me as worthy of sharing...