There are feelings and subsequent thoughts, that aren’t allowed to matter to anyone else. I realize this is a tough pill to swallow, but the fact is our thoughts and emotions don’t always convey to others the way they touch us. All the sympathy, empathy, and compassion in the world doesn’t erase this realization. Shared feelings are still very much two or more individual perspectives aligning at a common point of reference. They still vary in contextual scope and intensity. Recovering from the sense of rejection this instills within the self we portray is a daunting task at best. Our very closest intimate connections are no exception to this reality either. Acceptance of this by each of us allows for prosperity within a relationship, by giving each other the room to be ourselves, without the fear of feeling rejection. Not having to get what you specifically want each and every time, absent of that sense of needing to keep score for the sake of fairness. 


I guess this score keeping is our way of rationalizing the insecurity prompting it. We strive to be understood, and at the same time we deny those close to us acceptance. While I try to identify within those close to me, what I can personally relate to, it seems to always leave me feeling I need to work harder at it. We are such complex creatures, and continually surprise even ourselves in regards to dealing with our emotions. There in lies the basis for this entire discussion here. Working on yourself in a meaningful productive way is tough shit to do. Acceptance of your own fucked up mess is a huge accomplishment, and is the only real path to accepting others. Now I’m sounding like a twelve step director. I guess my point in all this searching for a better window into the pain of others will help us all get better together. No one ever sees our pain the way it feels to us inside, and it’s that pain keeping people from being their best to themselves and everyone else. This burden is our story resounding in all of lives struggles. 


Peace comes from reconciling the suffering within the heart...not stuffing it down to where it loses its sound.  



  #something else